just a story of my grandma
Sunday, August 31, 2014Grandparents, well I'm lucky enough to have at leas one of them. Grandmother, from my dad's side. Others? All became guardian angels even before my existence.
First of all, I must thank linkages. Their Selfie contest inspired me to write this. I feel that I must write this down and share with my grandma story with everyone. The contest is that, you have to take a selfie with the elder or senior citizen, be it your grandparents, parents, relatives, neighbours, boss, teachers or anyone elder than you, capture their Wisdom or Inspiring stories on Tradition & Culture OR Roots & Heritage OR Traditional Knowledge in a caption less than 50 words. So I did! And the selfie was taken when I was in KL just a week ago to celebrate my dear granny's 87th birthday
So when I saw the prizes of the contest of the contest is cash and 1st prize is RM 2k, I'm determined to win it and use the money to buy her a wheelchair. I can't be at her side but that's the least I can do. Yes, my family can afford it, but I, myself want to do something for her, for the least that I could.
However, I've decided to post the photo of me with my granny, and share her story.
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| with her 1st great grandson |
Born in 1928 in a small town name Sandakan which is, FYI, in Sabah. She lived in a fisherman village, wooden house on the sea, like those in Clan Jetties Penang, but of course not so nice lah~ She was married at a very young age to my grandpa, less than 20 but I dunno exactly when. I only remember she said, at that time, she got married early because her father can get some money (In Chinese wedding, the bride's family will receive dowry from the groom.), well~ they were poor family and it was very common in those days.
At the age of 27, my grandpa who was only only 37 passed away. Fire. The house was burnt down together with my grandpa. And my dad was only 5 years old at that time (my dad is the 2nd youngest in the family). Left with 8 children, she had to raise them all by herself. I wonder if I will be able to do that......
I know she lived through the war era, but I don't exactly know all the stories, because I never asked. All i know is she doesn't eat wild boar meat, because all she can think of when she look at the meat is the time she saw them eating the corpses during the war. (I can never imagine how disgusting and terrible is that...)
Short story huh? Yup! because I know nothing more than that........... You know, I never look at her as an inspiration, not until I got older, not until I left my family in Tawau, Sabah and came all the way to Penang to pursue my bachelor degree. To be honest, she was just a a nagging granny and show distinct love to her grandsons in my uncles' family.
She lived with my family for more than 14 years and never moved to anywhere until today. At her early years, she lives here and there in all her children houses for a certain time then she move to the other. Favourite place? of course the youngest son's house, it wasn't until my uncle said, out of good intention, "why not you move to other's house to live too?" because he was worried that she might be bored. She took it badly and move ALL HER BELONGINGS out of my uncle house and stay in my house until today.
I don't like her, never (that time lah~ young, innocent and stupid me), like most of the teenagers, grandparents are just annoying nagging old folks. Yes, I've been there too. I never know how to talk nicely to her, I was always at the limit of my patience. Until one day (thanks to my brother), I found a way to get along with her. I was able to make her smile and laugh, and she did start to open her mind too. and I love her. And then, I left for Penang.
I missed home, everyday, I never said anything but I do miss home. And get homesick very often, even after 6 years in Penang, I still get homesick often. I regret that I never treasure the time when I was able to spend time with them at home back then. As she grows older, weaker, walks slower..... I feel the pain in my heart. It hits me the hardest when I got the news that one day, she can't remember anyone of us, NONE OF US!
She had a stroke, thank goodness it's a minor one. She said things that noone can understand, she was very clumsy, spilling things, use her finger to eat (she thought she had chopsticks in her hand but no, she doesn't) and etc. And it was clear, very clear to me that, she doesn't have too many days with us. Who knows? days? weeks? months? years? how many years? Will she be able to see me getting marry? Will she still be here the next time I go home? How long does she needs to suffer?
Now, she got better thanks to the medications. But, she can't walk very well, slow and shaky, gets tired quickly. She can't express herself well, we know she is totally conscious, but she can't say the exact thing she wanted to, just like a clear mind trap inside a doll, you don't have all the freedom you want. She knows who you are but she can't call out your name. She will look at you and nod, she knows, but she is not able to say it out.
Why do i write this? to remind everyone of you, time is short, life is short. You'll never know what will happen next, to you or your love ones. We've all been there, you might be in the path now or you might go through this someday in the future, throwing tantrums, fight with the elders (including parents) and being rebellious. Back then, I only looked at myself, my life, my friends, everything was about me. Selfish bum! yes I was, and lessons learnt.
When I come to think of it, I know nothing bout her, or my dad or my mum. I don't know their stories. I regret that I didn't talk to them more often, ask about heir past, especially granny. I never know all her stories, and now she can't tell me anymore.............. I hope someday she will recover and speak normally like she did in the past, I'll talk to her, ask her to tell me all her stories. I'm late, but I'm glad that it's not too late. At least she is still alive.
Dear all, please treasure those around you, especially your loved ones. Love them, talk to them, listen to them, you'll never know how precious they are until you lost them, or like me, loosing them. When is the last time you called home? When is the last time you REALLY talk to your family, do you really know them? Or only know them as your dad, your mum, your brother, your sister...... Can you tell their stories when you were asked?
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| Happy Birthday grandma~ we love you~ |
2 comments
So next time you go back don't just find snacks in fridge to eat. Remember ASk their story oh oh
ReplyDeleteNice story.��
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